A1iv3
by OBS09
Summary: Suzaku Kururugi - Murderer of his father, many japanese and one special britannian. 5 years in the futur the young soulder still deals with missions. Does he still think of Lelouch? How much is it killing him? War starts again. Can he stop it? YAOI/ANGST


Intro-

Heavily I breathed, my heart ready to burst, as I lay there lifeless with the skies sobbing tears running down my face. An alleyway I was in through the darkest part of day. My royal purple cloak hung limp against these weary bones. I was left here, left here with all of my beloveds' dead and my lover by my own hands. Hands that were rinsed clean thanks to the heavens rare rain. So clean when everything else, meaning everything that I lived for, remained dirty.

That day I swore I would take the responsibility of Geass. Even though I swore, it means nothing now. I have failed him in disgrace, failed ZERO in disgrace. Failed Lelouch. Wearing these linen clothing would make any human feel powerful. Then why do I suffer? This mission was only one mistake. Zero just made a mistake. Was I allowed to slip up? No, I'm not Zero. I didn't even come close to that title. Lelouch did his thing purely out of Desire. Almost like 'Zero' was another being inside of him! How am I supposed to imitate that kind of power? I'm just a lame Japanese kid that wont fit on either side of the war. I used to think meeting lelouch was destiny, now that I realize the disaster; it's more along the lines of fate.

Geass was a power given through special users for military or coincidence. Although some people say it's a blessing, it's also a sin. Each holder of geass holds a marking of a diamond V with wings " - - ". If you are a holder, then you have a contractor; where the person makes a contract with you to share this power. The only catch is to fulfill the holders' wish, which is mainly to die. When you are a holder of Geass, you become immortal. The power could be one of many things like; control minds, control actions, to be loved, to read minds, or even to stop time for an amount, which holds your life. You change the brainwaves of another. Now, geass is usually shown in the eyes. A holder has a large mark on their skin, a contractor holds their mark in their eye(s) and appears in magenta when summoned.

I was never one of these but the Britannian, Lelouch, was. I found this out only weeks after his death. He used his power to change the world and suffered because of it. He planned to die to save the Japanese. He died so people would live. War with Japanese and I had no other choice to choose Britannian. I was always disgusted with myself. Now I wear his image as the Hero Zero as promised, to make a world for his little sister to live in, a safe world.

With these thoughts, I withdrew my dark ally and headed for home. Clutching my bleeding waist and limping my way down the deserted streets. At least there is one person I am still here to live for. One comforting light I discovered so long ago. Coming to a conclusion, my mask loosened and I revealed my face. Suzaku Kururugi will live for Nunally Britannia.

---------- 0 o 0 --------

A young girl pranced her way through the two-story called home. Faded brunette hair fell to her ankles as she stood tall and beaming, giggling from time to time and exchanging words with the child next to her.

"-And that is how you follow up with the equation!"

The faded brunette flicked her pencil to form a check. Tutoring wasn't a difficult task for Nunally. After all, she was training to be a teacher with her new working legs! Dreaming for a long time to be someone outside of the castle.

"Thank you miss Britannia!"

Smiling and waving from the door, the lad had flipped open his umbrella and disappeared in the rash rain. Nunally stood their watching him from the doorway until her stomach settled passed the boundary of safe.

Ready to close the door, she takes one last peak out.

"Huh?"

Something, a shadow of some sort, moved directly across the yard. Face full of worry Nunally looks left to right feeling insecure. All of a sudden she hears a loud thump of a noise and rushes to close the door. The door seeming strangely difficult to close, she feels a pressure on the other side and shrieks.

" NUNALLY!! Calm down, it's just me! "

Suzaku opened the door fully to show his drenched and bloody figure. "Suzaku! What happened?" Nunally knew exactly what had happened. Suzaku was called for another mission a week before. She just felt she had to ask that out of pure shock. The gore around his waist caught her off guard.

"What has become of you?"

Nunally took his arm and draped it around her shoulders, uncaring if she got wet. Helping him inside, she took out the First Aid from the closet and began to inspect the wound. " The mission was a failure. Damn Britannians got me again. The emperor of Britannia is trying to get his way yet again. I just made a bad move. "

Honestly, the young adult couldn't stand the thought of these 'missions' or 'war'. After all, she has witnessed all that was there to see. Some people can't believe a child to remain so pure after harsh commands, bloody soldiers and continuous deaths. Maybe it was because she wasn't fully recovered after all. Now that she can walk life seems much easier-but her eyes remain closed. Not being able to bear those distorted images again.

Suzaku numbly moved his limbs. It was a routine after every severe mission. Well, Nunally made up the body inspection anyhow. His waist was now bandaged, and with that he slowly walked up the spiral steps to his quarters.

---------- 0 o 0 ----------

2: 15 a.m.

Dark circles rimmed his lifeless emerald eyes. Felt like he hasn't blinked for hours.

Suzaku sat upright in his bed, nothing but his skin and thin sheet to keep his parts from being out in the open. He had no idea how long he had been like this or if he will ever snap out of it. Just a dreamless daze that's not quite death but not nearly sleep - more along the lines of comatose.

'I had that dream again.' Suzaku hunched over and put his head in his hands. Almost like a shiver, his skin rippled like a small spasm. Heaving ever so slightly, he curled in a ball and bit his knuckle. This was his way of comfort to baby himself on nights like these--dark and moonless.

' _Lelouch!_

_Suzaku stumble over as he ran to his friends' aid._

_Ah, Suzaku._

_He smiled, and then I smiled. We both shared the same familiarity with each other._

_I laughed,_

_How have you been?_

_Then my face felt hot. Running so quickly to say 'hi' isn't the smartest thing to do when you have nothing else to say._

_I.. Have been wanting to talk with you, lelouch! Can we walk?_

_He gave me that hidden curiosity look when he cocks his head but the same expression remains. Moving a tuff of his hair to the side, he smiled calmly._

_Sure. It's been a while, hasn't it? '_

A sob caught in my throat. My knuckle was now bleeding out of the immense pressure. I decided to chew on my lip, tears staining my face. It was dark and uncomforting with the red light of my clock radiating the walls. I hated it, hated the fact that I had to put up with this. Lelouch died to make everyone happy; then why am I sad?

A shadow moved across the light beneath my door. I hushed, hiding my sobs and backing up my tears – listening. It was Nunnally, at this time of night? This didn't seem right. This didn't feel right. My stomach lurched and I shivered once more when keys were heard, followed by a creak of a door. I forced my way out of bed and into the dim light of the living room. Through the window, I watched her leave and read a note clung by the curtain.

' Suzaku,

Something doesn't feel right through these parts.

You feel it too, don't you? The change in atmosphere?

It's the same as 5 years ago. When you were 18 and I was 15.

When big brother was still with us and the war only began between properties.

Of course you would noticed. I noticed that you noticed. So, I'm going to check things out. Food is in the fridge and I made arrangements for classes. Don't worry; I will be back in one piece!

Nunally '

I crumbled the neatly written sheet and chucked it to the trash. Happening again? Nunns is right. I do feel it, for the past month now. Could this lead to my dreams? Could lelouch be-.. no, it's absurd.

Wobbling my way to my room, I allowed sleep to overcome me. Finally I closed my eyes and wait till' morning came, or so I thought. Jerking out of bed I sensed something strong. It was here, in the house!

"Who is it? Why are you here!"

There was a cold breeze, I threw on some boxers and tensed up. The curtains were flowing openly. I shut the window before I lied in bed. Therefore-

"It's been a while, hasn't it Suzaku?"

---------------0 o 0--------------

END OF CHAPTER ONE-

Author- this was a butt hole to write. I don't believe I got all the details of GEASS right but I managed the best I could. Please give me rates and comments. Writing is what I have fun with. I hope my imagination did well. - OBS


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